Saturday, 9 July 2011

Spin Cycle of Nirvana

"It'll even do your cat..."
Of course, being me, I only really appreciate something when I can't have it. So this week finds me rather incapacitated after a minor operation, and somewhat unable to sit. I can hobble, I can perch, but I can't do regular-style zazen. What happens then? Can I get past pride, and attachment to form, and do zazen in a chair? I haven't yet. Being at home, and not having the distraction of work, my mind  becomes very busy trying to find things to get on with. New schemes, career ideas, things I should write: oh man, it goes around and around, a washing machine on a very familiar spin-cycle. I find also that I am an entertainment beast. I rent DVDs, I watch things on the Internet, I leaf through books casually, I write, I make hot drinks...I do everything but sit here and appreciate existence. Because that would be boring. I hunt crazily on the Internet for books to buy about Zen! Hah! Now and then, even I am sensible enough to realise, and I hope I don't come across too damned hippy here, but that everything really is right here. In my smallish lounge, with the tree outside the window, the books on the shelves, the houseplants waving gently, the gentle ache in my butt... Yeah yeah, books and entertainments and schemes are fine, they're not bad. But coming back to here? Back to now? It's all there is. And what a relief.

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